Happy Birthday my beautiful angel  / Margaret Pesenhofer (nana)

her Journey's Just Begun

Don't think of her as gone away, her jouney's just begun.
Life  holds so many facets, This life is only one.

Just think of her as resting from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort where there are no days and years.

Think how she must be wishing that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness can really pass away.

And think of her as living in the hearts of those she touched,
for nothing loved is ever lost... and she was loved so much.

I love you Tash..... Nana

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I wish my family had my memories  / Mum
I wish more than anything that my Mum, sis, and Brother had the opportunity to have the memories that her brothers and I do. Natasha always had problems in the US, but she had a great job she loved life and was living a normal life. I am so greatful they are my memories and I am so sad that the rest of my family saw a side of her that I didnt. I wish they new the real Natasha not the one that was hidden. Close

Thank you Tash for sending Dana  / Mum
Dear Natasha,
Thank you for sending your sweet friend Dana to help me with my grief. I know you picked her out for me because she helped you so much when you needed a true friend. We are both so lucky to have her in our lives. 
Love you sweet heart Close

Happy Birthday in Heaven precious angel Natasha  / Janet (Mom To Nicholas Piccolo)
God bless
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Your New Job  / Dana Nasca (friend in US )

Tash, 
You have a harder job in heaven than any of us will ever have here on earth. You have to watch over your family and all of us who have had the privlige to have met you in our lives through this very hard time. I am sorry that we lost touch when you moved and I don't even know why. I think about you often and wish I could have been there for you when you needed someone the most. It's a shame because I was only one town away. Probably less than 3 miles in total. I will continue to keep in touch with your mom. I will need you to be my angel soon and you know why. 
Love,
Me

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And God Said.......  / Diane Angel Mom- Katie Cassidy (I care )
I said, God I hurt
And God said, I know

I said, I cry alot
And God said, That's why I gave you tears

I said, Life is so hard
And God said, That's why I gave you loved ones

I said, But my loved one died!!
And God said, So did mine!!

I said, It's such a great loss!!
And God said, I saw mine nailed to a cross!!

I said, But your loved one lives!!
And God said, So does yours!!

I said, Where is she now??
And God said, My Son is by my side and
Your Daughter is in my arms!!


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Remembering!!! / Derrick Powell (Her Special Friend )

Tash, what's up?? I see your mom wanted to know a little more information about you and I wanted to share just a few more things I remember....Obviously our favorite hang-out spot was Club Speed on 39th street between Madison and 5th...they used to have their after work thursdays that started at 7pm and we would arrive around 8:30 ready to dance our asses off to 112,Mase,Biggie,DMX,Mary J Blige and a little reggae,etc...they had 4 floors of music and we hit every floor...I remember how we loved to eat at Uno's Pizza in the village, and I remember you getting that tribal tattoo in the village on your lower back and trying not scream...lol....that was funny....I remember when you had a job as a security guard at Macy's in Garden State Plaza( you were undercover too), how we used to laugh if your little self had to arrest somebody and I remember during your first week on the job you met Missy Elliott in there shopping and told me she was as short as you in person and we laughed about that....I've got many more memories and even a few pics which I may share with everyone on Nov 15th......anyway just remembering some good times and felt like sharing a few.....

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You are a special soul  / Roxanne Feller (Friend - Janet Hernandez )

I met Tasha through Janet Hernandez.  Tasha was a special person.  I remember her as a vibrant and fun loving person who always smiled no matter what was going on.  She will be truly missed.

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Natashas Birthday stories please on her life.  / Katrina (mum)


For Tashs Birthday could you share a story. There is so much of her life that I dont know about

IT is comming up soon and I dont know how I will survive, but survive I must. I know Tash tried to so I will try for her. I am trying hard as it is. I tell myself every day. Tash wants me to go on so I must.
I am going to buy an ice cream cake which I did everyyear she was hear in America. I am going to sing happy birthday like I would if she were here. I am going to go out for dinner just like if she were here I would have taken her out to eat. )and ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. :) I am also going to do that. I am going to buy lots of Balloons and write little notes to her  attach them and let them fly free. Free like a bird.
Letters please
On her letters I wrote a letter to her saying all the things that i wish I had done and all the things I wish I had said to her before she left us. I also put all the things that I had hoped for the future that is not to be. I put it all the things That I am sorry for and asked for forgiveness. I also put in some wonderful memories that we shared.
I told her how much I loved her from the minute she was born. I will maybe put it on the tributes when her birthday comes around.  If anyone wants to share a letter to Tash I would love it. There is so much about her life I did not know. I did not know she went to Joans beach or  what were her favourite hangouts, stuff like that. So Please fill me in on the life that I dont know about. Close

I'm grateful we met  / Karen Eastling (friend)
I met you through Janet, but you and I also became friends.  Although I don't have as many memories of our friendship that you shared with your other friends, I'm grateful for the ones we have.  Hanging out at your apartment in Hackensack.  Going clubbing in the city.  Hitting Darlington Lake and Jones Beach in the summer.  Even just going out for drinks at differnt places throughout Jersey.  You were a beautiful persom and I truly, truly miss you.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  Miss you, Miss you, Miss you.


                                                                        Love Karen Close

T my beloved Tasha  / Janet Hernandez (Friend)

To my little sis, I love you always and foever

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I will always miss you  / Janet Hernandez (Friend)
Words can't express the anguish and grief that I feel to know that such a wonderful person is gone. I missed her since the day she moved to Austrailia the last time. In the mix we lost contact and I was told that she was seen around town in Englewood. I asked around for her number or address but didn't get any answers. Theres nothing worse than hearing though an email that your bestest friend for so much of your life has passed away. Knowing how I feel I could only imagine the loss to her beloved family. Please accept my condolinces and please forward the buriial info to me. Tashas birthdays comming up and I definately want to pay my respect. Close

To Katrina  / Dana Nasca (friend in US )
I will be looking for old pictures of Tash when you guys lived in Bogota. I saw a picture that you posted of you and the family in the kitchen of the Bogota apartment for your birthday, Brendan was so little, I felt like I was there.
I pictured the time that Tash MADE me taste the Vega-mite on toast. THAT WAS SOOO GROSS.  No offense if you like it. Tash said it was your favorite. I can actually visualize and taste how bad it was right now as I type at almost 1am at my computer. 
I do think about her a lot. We always had fun together. I will be looking for those pictures.  
Hope you got my private email !
Love,   Dana. Close

Comfort to family  / Sharleen Hess (passerby)
I know how heavy your heart is and I know how just how hard getting up out of the bed daily is, but we just have to cry when we need to and then just go on.  I lost my son Jan 07 and still I cry several times weekly.  I am down from daily to weekly.  I cry easily and expect I will never stop crying over my son.  He died of sudden heart attack at 30.  I ask God how can this be? Duane was such a good dad and wanted to be a good dad, loved being a dad, loved playing with his children.  I see so many dads on the news abusing their children and why are they still here?  God knows what he is doing and somewhere years down the road I hope to see much good come from what others saw in Duane's life and know he left his mark here.  I am proud that the mark was a good one. He left behind a 10 year old son, 7 year old daughter, 4 year old daughter and a 30 year old wife to raise them by herself.  I do not know how we are going to make it thru Christmas this year.  He died only a month after Christmas last year and my life has never been the same since and never will be again. The photo you see of him and brother Justin sitting my mother's couch was Christmas 2006 and the last photo I had taken of him.  We all cherish that photo as if it were gold.  Never knowing I would not get to take a Christmas photo this year.  He was my baby of 2 boys.  The son I have left is 32 and they lost their 36 year old cousin 6 weeks after Daune.   I walk around daily as if everything around me is foggy.  I cannot explain it but people who have lost a child will understand.  I wish I could take away our pain but I try to look at it this way:  Be thankful for the time I had him, talk and think about the funny things he did, write to him on this site as if I were talking to him, hug his children because they are an offspring of him I would never have if not for him, love the ones I have left because you never know when someone you love will be gone tomorrow.  Life without  loss of a child is never easy but after the loss of a child it is harder.  The worse part about death is what it leaves behind as we live on.  People, as you see on these sites, are going thru the exact same thing and we will make it and can only be strong when we make that choice to be strong.  I find strength in writing to someone like you.  That helps.  You will find that helping others will help you get thru your grief.  I feel so, so sorry for you because I am where you are and you can go to my son's site at top right to contact me anytime.  I do not check e-mail everyday but will get back with you and help comfort as much as I can.  Again find comfort in God (He is there to talk to even when you think you are all alone), you friends and family.  Just do not let bitterness and anger send you in the wrong direction.  Do what you know in your heart is right and your daughter will be looking down and will be proud of you.  My son was saved when he was little and I know he is in a better place.  He does not have to suffer now and I know he would not want me to have a sad face while I am still here.  He was always smiling and loved to have a good time, never knew a stranger since the day he was born.  We had appx 1200 visitors at his wake.  I was proud to know that many people took the time to pay tribute to his life and his forever memory.  I created this site to make sure his memory will never die in the hearts and minds of the ones who knew and loved him so much.  Keep pressing on and dwell on the good times, not the bad.  They say time heals all wounds but even if it does it will leave a scar.  You know scares never go away but they do not hurt as bad as when the wound first happen.  It is only when you look down at that scar that you still remember what happen.  If you continue to keep your mind and eyes on that scar you cannot move on.  You must move on and know your daughter's spirit is always with you.  Angels are everywhere/every second of the day and your angel is with you more now that she was in body here on earth. 

I hope this helps.  Contact me from my son's site anytime.

Love always,
Sharleen Hess (Tennessee)
mommy to duane-mounger.memory-of.com       Close

Happy Halloween Natasha With Love!  / Melissa Eiler (Friend~Connected By "Our Angels"~ )

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Dedication / Grant Spooner (best friend )
you are so irreplaceable it is so unfair,could never meet such a loveable soul.please forgive me for upsetting your nan,just wanted her to know that held you with uptmost respect, always will, and would never take advantage of you but spoke inappropriate to her, know how you love your nan and hope you can forgive,you are so special and it is so unfair that when we watched the last luna eclipse we both saw it as a sign things would be better for you,, even more so as moon was in scorpio you said,.you are such a precious friend am breaking down without you.all my love forever Close

Please light a candle  / Katrina (mum)
Please light a candle everyone. you dont have to say anything. For some strange reason it means a lot to me Close

found new pics  / Katrina (mum)
found and downloaded new pics. 
If anyone can find a picture to download I would love it thanks Close

she was happy when she passed.  / Katrina (mum)
I just Talked to tashs friend who was with her the night she passed. He said she was happy that night and that she just passed in her sleep. Close

10/17/2007 to Natasha  / Katrina (mum)
this morning
Hi Tash , Its Wednesday morning.
I am going to try and go back to work today. I have no choice. I know you would want me to. My heart is having heart palpatations all morning. Probably anxiety about going to work. I keep playing your funeral song over and over in my head, it wont stop.
I still cant accept that you are gone and not comming back. When will I ever accept it. In the begginning I knew you were out of pain and watching over me. Now I am angry and just want you. It makes me sick to my stomach knowing you arnt comming back and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel so helpless. Its not fare. I hate my life without you. Thank god I have your brothers, they need me and I need them. Bobby has been great. He is trying. He now understands he cant keep telling me to get fresh air or go ride. Those things that once gave me pleasure do not. He has to let me grieve. Without grief your life would have meant nothing. My grieving is my love for you. I so hope you can feel it now.
Natasha wish me luck to day my beautiful child. I love you,mum Close