NATASHA & KATRINA  / ROSE GM TO ANGEL BRITTANY SYFRT

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Happy Birthday!  / Dana Nasca (school friend )

Sometimes you read something that is so strong and meaningful it changes the way you think and act forever. I was reading what your mom wrote titled "the gap". I hope more people read this message. She is right. No one should expect her to have to tollerate this complete void in her life. And friends should expect her to want to call and for them to be "silent" on the the phone while she cries because this is her release. She should not have to feel closed in or alone ever because this is her way of "getting better" if you will.  I will continue to be there for your mom and I will never forget you. From the stupid things to the sleep overs to the similarites in our lives and our differences. I will always remember it. Even if I dont write you know that the silent wink to the sky after I pass your block means Im thinking of you and your family.

Katrina please keep in touch. Im thinking of you.

Love

Dana Nasca

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Happy birthday in heaven Nov 15th  / Mum (mum)
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NATASHA / ROSE GRMA TO ANGEL BRITTANY SYFERT

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TODAY AND ALWAYS IN MY HEART  / CATHY~MOM OF DAVID GIRAUD

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THOUGHTS OF YOU  / MOM OF DAVID GIRAUD

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the Gap  / Katrina Turner (mum)
The Gap




The gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one whose children are well and intact can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed what they bear. Our children now come to us through every blade of grass every crack in the sidewalk every bowl of breakfast cereal every kid on a scooter. We seek contact with their atoms-their hairbrushes toothbrushes their clothing. We reach out for what was integrally woven into the fabric of our lives now torn and shredded. A black hole has been blown through our soles and indeed it often does not allow the light to escape. It is a difficult place. For us to enter there is to be cut deeply and torn anew each time we go there by the jagged edges of our loss. Yet we return again and again for that is where our children now resides. This will be so for years to come and it will change us profoundly. At some point in the distant future the edges of that hole will have tempered and softened but the empty space will remain--a life sentence.


Our friends will change through this. There is no avoiding it. We grieve for our children in part through talking about them and our feelings for having lost them. Some go there with us others cannot and through their denial add a further measure however unwitting to an already heavy burden. Assuming that we may be feeling "better" 6 months later is simply "to not get it". The excruciating and isolating reality that bereaved parents feel is hermetically sealed from the nature of any other human experience. Thus it is a trap--those whose compassion and insight we most need are those for whom we abhor the experience that would allow them that sensitivity and capacity. And yet somehow there are those each in their own fashion who have found a way to reach us and stay to our immeasurable comfort. They have understood again each in their own way that our children remain our children through our memory of them. Their memory is sustained through speaking about them and our feelings about their death. Deny this and you deny their life. Deny their life and you have no place in ours.


We recognize that we have moved to an emotional place where it is often very difficult to reach us. Our attempts to be normal are painful and the day to day carries a silent screaming anguish that accompanies us sometimes from moment to moment. Were we to give it it's own voice we fear we would become truly unreachable and so we remain "strong" for a host of reasons even as the strength saps our energy and drains our will. Were we to act out our true feelings we would be impossible to be with. We resent having to act normal yet we dare not do otherwise. People who understand this dynamic are our gold standard. Working our way through this over the years will change us as does every experience-- and extreme experience changes one extremely. We know we will have actually managed to survive when as we have read it is no longer so painful to be normal. We do not know who we will be at that point nor who will still be with us.


We have read that the gap is so difficult that often bereaved parents must attempt to reach out to friends and relatives or risk losing them. This is our attempt. For those untarnished by such events who wish to know in some way what they thankfully do not know read this. It may provide a window that is helpful for both sides of the gap.
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KATRINA, THINKING OF YOU ALWAYS MY FRIEND**  / CATHY~MOM OF DAVID GIRAUD (A SPECIAL FRIEND )

THINKING OF YOU!!!


I PRAY FOR YOU-ROSES
I PRAY FOR YOU-LOVE
I PRAY FOR YOU-BLESSINGS
IN ABUNDANCE FROM ABOVE.

I PRAY FOR YOU-HAPPINESS
ONLY FRIENDSHIP CAN BRING
I PRAY FOR YOU THE KIND OF DAY
THAT MAKES YOUR HEART SING.

I PRAY FOR YOU ALL THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS
THAT MAKES YOUR DAY SO BRIGHT
AND A JOYFUL FEELING IN YOUR HEART
MORNING NOON AND NIGHT.

I SEND THIS SPECIAL GREETING
IN THE MOST FRIENDLY WAY
SO YOU WILL KNOW THAT SOMEONE
IS THINKING OF YOU TODAY!!

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Happy Fall  / Myers Family

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still have you in my thoughts and prayers  / Jody Rodriguez (friend)
I just wanted to let you know....I will always have you in my thoughts. You are an angel. I always keep you in my prayers. Miss you Tash. Love ...Jody Close

Thinking of Natasha with love on her Angelversary  / Edwina~Troy Mitchell's Mum

.

~~

.

Remember Me



To the living...I am gone
To the sorrowful...I will never return
To the angry...I was cheated.
But to the happy...I am at peace
And to the faithful...I have never left.



I cannot speak...But I can listen
I cannot be seen...But I can be heard.



So as you stand upon a shore
Gazing at a beautiful sea...Remember me.
As you look upon a flower
And admire its simplicity...Remember me.



Remember me in your heart
Your thoughts...and your memories.
Of the times we loved...The times we cried
The times we fought...And the times we laughed.
For if you will always think of me
I will never be gone.

.

~~

.

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I'M SO SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG!!  / CATHY~MOM OF DAVID GIRAUD~NOW AT LAST-MEMORIES (SOMEONE WHO CARES~* )

DEAR KATRINA

I'M SO SORRY IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME SENSE I HAVE VISITED YOUR PRECIOUS NATASHA'S SITE. MY COMPUTER WAS FRIED WHEN MO WAS HAVING TROUBLE WITH THE VIRUS. MY LIST OF NAMES WAS ON MY OLD COMPUTER BUT I'M SLOWLY GETTING BACK TO HAVING A LIST AGAIN. I PRAY ALL IS WELL WITH YOU SWEETHEART? KNOW THAT YOU AND NATASHA HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. GOD BLESS YOUR HEART~~

COME VISIT DAVID AT LAST-MEMORIES. I DID TAKE HIS SITE DOWN HERE BUT IT SEAMS TO BE WORKING REALLY WELL NOW SO WHO KNOWS MAYBE I'LL DO ONE FOR DAVID HERE ALL OVER AGAIN.

LOVE AND BIG HUGS TO YOU:

CATHY GIRAUD (MOM OF DAVID GIRAUD)

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I lie  / Mum Turner (mum)

Ask My Mum How She Is...

My Mum, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before.
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my Mum how she is
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
Because she can't describe the pain.

Ask my Mum how she is,
She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night ?

Ask my Mum how she is,
She seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.

Ask my Mum how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For God's sake Mum, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.

She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am Here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.

On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mum,
With all the lies you told!"

 

The loss of our child brother or sister has scarred us forever. If we weren't worriers before, we are now, and if we were worriers before we worry more. We are quicker to anger, because underneath it all, we are angry. No matter how many plates we smash, how many times we yell, how many Evil Ones we hit...we are always angry. How can we not be. Our loved one was taken from us before we had a chance to say how we feel to make amends to say how much we loved them. to let them know how proud we are of them. How we wished we could have done something, helped somehow, known ennough to have changed the course of life. Forever will I be angry and I have every right.

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thinking of you today  / Mum Turner (mum)
I sit here and think of you, you are always on my mind.
What could have been, what should have been, the dreams I had for you, the hope I held in my heart for you,
The beauty that was truly in your heart. The love they will never part,
The phone call I want to make, The e-mail I want to write,
instead I light a candle
Instead I have only a photo,
I have so much to say , but I cant see your face or hear your voice when I say what I want to say,
Do you hear me,
Do you love me,
Are you there?
Do you see your brothers pain?
Are you by there side?
Do you hold them while they sleep?
Do you know they need you?
What do you know?
Are you there?
If only I knew the answers, if only I knew it was true you are there you are here
You are right by our sides. Tell me how do I know?
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poem / Dwane (brother)
>
> --------------------
> Subject: poem
>
> TASH
>
> Ive loved you my hole life, and hated you as much
> The things weve been through, and the times we fucked up
> You were there to guide me, I was there to guide you
> But now that your gone, my life's so fucked up
>
> You treated me like shit, but I always knew why
> No more do I ask, and no more do I try
> To understand all, the things we've been through
> I just wish you were here, I miss you so much
>
> You cant be replaced
> There will never be anyone like you
> You were my heart, and now your are my soul
> I depended on you, more than you'll ever know
>
> Im anry, Im frustrated
> At you at this world, Although I try to fake it
> I wish I knew if you were proud of me
> Because I am of you
>
> I never got the chance, to say my good byes
> The choices you made, I may never know why
> But in the end that was you, that was your life
> I put my head in my hands, and forever I will cry
>
> Ive loved you my hole life and hated you as much!
> The things weve been through, and the times we fucked up!
> You were there to guide me, and I was there to guide you!
> But know that your gone, my life's so fucked up!
> -------------------- Close

Happy easter in heaven  / Katrina Turner (mum)
Happy easter Tash, we love you so much. I am going to try and cook an easter dinner today. I will be thinking of you. Close

Thinking of you  / Jessica Tortosa Girardi (Friend)

Hey Tash,

It's still hard to believe you are not here making us laugh or giving out those extremly painful birthday punches! You have touched so many lives and none of us will ever forget you and the amazing person you are.

I am sure you have finally found the peace you have been looking for for so many years, and knowing that you are out of pain and truly in peace, brings me comfort as I am sure it does to all those who love you.

Keep watching over us, you are an angel to all of us.

Your friend,

Jessica

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Thinking about you  / Jenelle Raia (Friend)
Just thinking about you girl Love you! Close

HAPPY VALENTINES SWEET ANGEL..  / IRENE MOMMY TO ANGEL KAYLA XAVIER FOREVER (FEV. 14, 2009 )
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the New year  / Katrina (mum)

Its the new year. It will be the second year with out you on this earth.

I still dont understand why you were takin so suddenly, and yes why we never got to say goodbye.

Why , why  why is all I can think of. I still have the hole that is ripped through my body. It hasnt started to heal, Maybe the day we can be together again.

You suffererd so much sweet heart. If only I could have taken away the pain.

I love you and your brothers so much. You are my life. I just wish I could say it to your face one more time.

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